


I’ve Got You

by greenestthumb



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddles, Depression, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 14:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenestthumb/pseuds/greenestthumb
Summary: Bin is depressed, Dongmin tries to make him feel better.





	I’ve Got You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so! I have no idea if this could be considered triggering - but please just be aware that this fic involves depression so if you have found yourself being triggered by that then either don’t read it or read with caution. I want you all to be okay and happy!!

It was one of those days again. One of the _bad_ ones. Bin was laying on his front on the big bed, not doing much of anything. Just staring at the wall, mostly. It felt as if he was waiting for something, although he couldn’t quite figure out what he would be waiting for. Like always, it felt as if it was just outside his grasp. 

Maybe waiting for happiness to come find him? 

Or waiting for the darkness to swallow him whole, perhaps. 

Bin rubbed his face vigorously. He didn’t know when or why he’d start feeling like this. So much… nothing. It wasn’t like this every day, luckily. Most days he managed to get a grip on himself, although he could hear that at times his laughs were a little too forced. He answered Dongmin’s kisses and cuddles less enthusiastically. But lately it seemed as if the bad days were coming back quicker, more powerful - leaving him more numb and exhausted than ever before. 

He hadn’t gone to uni today. Dongmin had had an early class this morning, which means Bin would have left about an hour later than him, anyways. He hadn’t texted his boyfriend the whole day, feeling guilty about skipping out on his classes and also not wanting to give him any reason to worry about him. When his alarm had gone off that morning, the thought of facing all those happy, chatty, loud people made him cry into his pillow. He just couldn’t. Not today. So he had turned off his alarm and slept for a couple more hours - not bothering with breakfast. 

So there he was, laying in the exact same spot, not having moved much. It was almost three in the afternoon, meaning Dongmin would be home soon. The thought of facing his boyfriend right now made him nervous. Bin knew he was going to be concerned for him and would want to talk. There wasn’t much to talk, he feared. There was just this all consuming black hole inside of him. He was scared that soon Dongmin would lose his patience with him, scared that he would get tired of always needing to cheer him up when he was feeling like shit. _I don’t deserve him_ , Bin thought to himself. _He deserves someone who’s happy, someone who matches the sunshine he radiates._

Bin heard the front door shut closed. Heard a bag being put on the table. Heard nothing for a moment - Dongmin must have been noticing how Bin’s shoes were in the exact same spot (right in front of the front door where someone could break their neck over them) and that his backpack was still on the couch where he had last left it. 

“Binnie?” He didn’t answer, wishing he would become invisible, hoping Dongmin would maybe go out to get coffee down the street - which he knew he wouldn’t. 

The door to their bedroom opened quietly. 

“What’s going on, babe, why didn’t you go to uni today?” Dongmin closed the door behind him, scanning Bin’s face and worry starting to appear on his face. 

Bin felt so small. So small and heavy, heavy. “I couldn’t go.” His voice was a shaky whisper and he hid his face in his pillow. Bin heard footsteps on the wooden floor, felt the mattress dip besides him and a gentle hand on his back. 

“Is it a bad one again?” And Bin nodded his face into his pillow, grateful that Dongmin understood without him needing to say it. He heard a sigh, and in the next moment found himself surrounded by his boyfriend. Dongmin carefully pushed and pulled on Bin’s body until he was laying on his side, and could plaster himself to Bin’s back - legs interlacing, arms wrapped around his sides and coming to rest on his chest, forehead buried in Bin’s neck. 

“You should have called me. Now I feel bad knowing you were here all day, feeling like shit.” Dongmin’s arms tightened around him. Bin felt some emotion tug at his heart. 

“Sorry for making you feel bad.” 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’m here now.” And one of Dongmin’s arms retracted from where it was around Bin’s chest and instead found its way up, up, where he could card his fingers through Bin’s dark brown hair. 

“I think there’s something wrong with me, Dongmin…” And Bin turned himself around, facing his love, suddenly with tears in his eyes. Dongmin’s heart actually _broke_ , hearing him say that and seeing the pain and uncertainty on his face. 

He pulled Bin closer to him again, kissed his forehead, murmured, “Maybe it’s time we go see a doctor. I understand it might be difficult for you, Binnie, but I’ll come with you and I’ll promise I’ll be there the entire time.” 

Bin made a tiny little sound in reply. He buried his face in his boyfriends’ neck, the familiar scent soothing him a bit. Then his stomach decided to make its presence known by grumbling loudly. 

“Oh God, you didn’t eat today, did you?” Dongmin didn’t even wait for a reply, already getting him and Bin to sit up. “Come on, I’m gonna cook you something.” He gently took Bin’s hands in his, pulling him upwards to standing. And wrapped his arms around him, giving him a tight hug. 

“I love you so, so, so much Bin. You can always tell me anything, alright?” Bin’s arms wrapped around Dongmin in return, feeling less like he was going to suffocate in darkness. 

“I know. Love you too, Dongminnie.” 

“Let’s get some food in that lovely belly of yours.” And Dongmin grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around Bin, kissed his nose once and led him to their kitchen by his hand. He put Bin down on one of their chairs and opened the fridge, scanning its contents. 

“What will it be - noodles, an omelet, grilled cheese sandwich, french toast, soup?” 

“You can pick.” Bin wasn’t feeling very hungry - although his stomach was still protesting. 

“Grilled cheese sandwich it is, then!” Dongmin was fussing around, getting bread and a pan and cheese, and Bin loved him. With his entire heart. Dongmin cursed himself as he dropped some cheese on the tiles, and made a face at Bin. 

He could see that Dongmin was trying _so hard_ to make him feel better, make him feel a little more human again. It made his throat close up, and all of a sudden there were tears in his eyes again. But this time he couldn’t contain them, and they rolled down over his puffy cheeks. The movement of him wiping his tears away caught Dongmin’s attention - 

“Oh, no, Binnie - it’s okay -“ and Dongmin’s arms were around him again, and he spoke in such a gentle and soft tone that it crumbled him, made him sob into Dongmin’s shoulder. He flung his arms around Dongmin again, holding onto him as if he was the only thing keeping him sane. And maybe, in this moment, he was. Bin sobbed, not caring anymore about ruining his boyfriends’ shirt and not caring that Dongmin was seeing him like this - he just needed this comfort, needed the soft words that were spoken to him. 

“I know you’re hurting - I know you think you’re alone, that no one will truly understand how you feel. But you’re not alone, you’ll never be. I won’t ever, ever leave you, Bin.” Dongmin held him close, stroking soothing patterns on his back. After a little while, Bin seemed to calm down a bit again. His eyes were red and a little swollen. He looked at Dongmin - his face completely open and so vulnerable. 

“I’m sorry for… that.” Dongmin stared at him for a moment. 

“Why on earth would you apologize for that? I’m your boyfriend, you should be able to be like this in front of me. I want you to feel safe with me..” 

“I do feel safe with you, Dongmin. So safe. You’re my safe haven.” Bin looked at his hands for a minute. “I really should go and see someone, shouldn’t I?” 

“Probably, yes. Before it get’s any worse. And I wouldn’t ever want for something bad to happen to you, Bin. I would never forgive myself.” And he knew Dongmin meant that. 

“Just… Please stay with me. Please. I can’t do this on my own.” The thought of facing and fighting this empty hole inside his chest made him feel cold and heavy. 

“You won’t have to, I promise. I’ll be right there with you, always.” Dongmin stroked Bin’s fringe away from his forehead and planted a lingering kiss there. 

And Bin felt it, felt the power and warmth and love radiate off of his boyfriend and he soaked it in. He could do this. With Dongmin by his side, he could face anything.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a little something I felt I needed to just get out of my system. It’s currently 1 am and I literally have just been writing this (and dropping my phone in my face numerous times), so please excuse any mistakes also I’m sleep deprived so if absolutely nothing in this fic makes sense... forgive me.
> 
> Minhymoon on tumblr!


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